Double Divided: Identity Disturbance

Part 2.

BPD Chronicles

This is the second post describing the account of the real-life experience on the second trait/diagnostic criteria of BPD.


Identity disturbance: characterized by significant persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Generally, a person with BPD sometimes asks the question who am I. There is a chronic inside battle of self-identity that is sometimes manifested in the way people with BPD interact in their environment and express themselves. For instance, the identity disturbance can be manifested in a  person who changes their appearance, hair color, hairstyles what they wear tattoos piercings, the way they talk, etc. You see, there is an actual absence of knowing who they are and this severe identity disturbance sometimes looks like they take on different personas.

 Age 28

I have a BSN and I have a job that I am passionate about most of the time. I own a condo yet I feel like I am not doing enough in life I just feel that something is missing. One minute I want to be a nurse the next minute I am talking to a college advisor to pursue a career in public policy, something I impulsively decided to do. I have always dreamt of being a nurse and now that I am not fulfilled. Though I am single and able to provide for myself, I have a boyfriend that adores me but that’s still not enough. I constantly donate my clothing because I feel like I have outgrown the style, then few months later I desire to have those same clothes that I donated. I change my sense of dressing from classy and sheet to buying crop top and booty shorts, a style that doesn’t suit my personality but I impulsively thought a change was needed. Every month when I go to work you can be sure to expect a new person either my accent and presentation has changed, my hair has changed from brunette to red, the next month it’s blond. I even dyed my hair pink and was asked by a supervisor to change it. My goals and values have constantly changed since I can recognize them.

2 responses to “Double Divided: Identity Disturbance”

  1. These things are really real. I am happy Carrie has decided to use this medium to share these things with us. I’m sure we are now able to better deal with the people around us. We are now also able to understand their behavior. We no longer have to say, “she is crazy” or “he is crazy”. Thanks so much Carrie.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Definitely Nicole,understanding the roof cause if the behavior sometimes makes it easier to deal with individuals that has different types on MH disorders.


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