It isn’t easy to maintain a balanced relationship if you suffer from BPD. A person with borderline personality presents with an intense fear of abandonment. As I mentioned in my last trait, “efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment,” a person with BPD may self-sabotage, walking away from relationships or friendships before the other person ends the relationship.
Often these fears are unreal, and at times due to self-sabotage, the person living with BPD may act in a particular manner that pushes others from them. That in itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Subsequently, this becomes a cycle where the person living with borderline believes it is inevitable for everyone to leave.
Furthermore, people living with BPD can fall in and out of love quickly. They can convince themselves that someone they went on one date with is the love of their life, and a few weeks later, they argue, and that person becomes the worst person in the world. This intense feeling has to do with idealizing someone and most likely idealized someone when they view them as desirable and devalue someone if they perceive them as unfavorable.
I have had four serious relations ship in the past year and a half. I dated and lived with Steven for five months before my current boyfriend. My present boyfriend, I met while dating my previous boyfriend, who I could not connect with as the things he does make me resent him more every day. Then I met Chad, who was a friend in the beginning. He was everything I could ask for, caring, respectful, and such a complete gentleman. The total opposite of Brandon, who was incomparable. After Brandon and I had a terrible fight Chad and I started dating. I eventually ended it with my boyfriend and Chad, and I moved in together a month later. Chad was my world. I could not do anything without him. Then I Spenser after Chad broke up with me after finding out I was still speaking to Brandon. My erratic behavior confuses and frustrates my friends, family members, and my exes. I feel helpless as if I am not in control. It is not after six months of treatment and being single for seven months, loving myself that I see the value in me. I struggle daily. However, healing takes place every day in my life.